Divorce

It has always been  a surprising factors for me and a non understood phenomenon as to why two people who very intimately and with lots of love and affection decide to marry each other and start living together, suddenly come to a stage where they think their co- existence is not possible. It was a mystery for me till I started my practice as a lawyer but, not anymore.

Today I thought that I shall pen down some of the cases which came into my knowledge due to my professional life as a Lawyer. Initially I shall take on cases in which the wife approached the court asking for separation. In this series of articles I shall print different cases. Here below is case number 1.

Case I

This is the case in which the woman approached the court after four years of her marriage. She was married to a lawyer, an advocate of the high court. This was an arranged marriage.

The woman was from an orthodox family where intermingling with the boys was considered bad and was prohibited. She had her basic religious education and then she attended a girl’s school and completed her junior school education. She was a very pretty lady rather she was extra ordinarily beautiful girl. When she got married she was almost 19 years of age. Her name was Ainy.

The man, Mr Advocate, was much older to the girl. When they got married, he was 40 years of age. His name was Fareed. He was also from an orthodox religious family and all his 4 brothers were clerics and his two sisters were working women. Mr Fareed was a graduate of law and was practicing law for the last 12 years. He had good practice. Initially, he was living with his parents but, after marriage he acquired a rented house and moved in there with his wife.

Apparently, they were living happily. The normal routine of an advocate is very tough. He will have to leave his house so as to reach and attend court which starts at 08.30 a.m and normally continues till 2 p.m. Then again he has to come back and attend his office from 5 pm to 10 pm or 11 pm. Then after having his dinner, he has to prepare for the next day court cases. Depending on the cases, normally it is almost 2a.m that he goes to bed. The only time he has for his family is on Sunday.

Mr Fareed and Ms Ainy remained married for four years and they had a very pretty baby girl of three years old, when Mrs Fareed i.e., Ms Ainy filed her papers for divorce.

Let me brief you a little about the family law and the family courts in Pakistan. Normally these are judges of the court who are nominated as family judges and have their separate courts and they hear the cases on priority. The family law of Pakistan is very comprehensive and mainly helps the girls. However, it is within the law and the court instructions to the judges that initially they try their utmost to save the marriage. Thus keeping that in view, it takes almost minimum 90 days to complete the proceedings.

Normally it is very difficult for the people to contest a case against an Advocate, not that he is more learned but, as per the set courtesy procedure of the courts, normally no other advocate takes the case when he learns that it is against a colleague advocate. This is the first hurdle which is faced by the persons who are contesting against an Advocate. Same happened with Ms Ainy. Initially she was not finding any lawyer who could contest her case. Only after the permission from Mr Fareed that a female lawyer Ms Anila Advocate appeared for Ms Ainy. I was requested by Mr Fareed to appear from his side.

After the initial formal appearances, the court as usual arranged meeting of the wife and husband in a separate room, in seclusion, with the instructions to both of them to talk to each other and remove whatever were their differences/ misunderstandings. It was initially with quite difficulty that they both agreed to sit together. After initial few appearances and with lot of pursuance from the court as well as from me and Ms Anila Advocate, that both agreed to patch up and live together again.

The court decided in their favour and dismissed the case.

However, I knew from the core of my heart that this marriage will not succeed and the lady will again come to the court for divorce. Why?

During the process of the proceeding, when we were trying the compromise deal, I happened to listen to the wife and I realised that whatever is happening in their house if continues, the wed lock will break. I actually developed my sympathies with the wife and exerted my weight to the maximum on the Husband and asked him to change his attitude if he wants his marriage life to succeed. I asked him to do it at least for his beautiful daughter.

Well, let me share as to what was wrong, why I said above that the wife will again approach the court for the divorce and what was that which became unbearable for the wife to live anymore with her husband.

Mr Fareed was a very mistrustful person. When he used to go for his job, he used to lock her wife inside the house and she was not allowed to contact anyone in the meanwhile. So much so that he used to take the telephone instrument along with him and used to install back on his return. She was only allowed to use the telephone in her husband’s presence. Secondly, whenever Mr Fareed returned home, he would start searching the entire house, all bathrooms and even the garbage bin, as if looking for an evidence of somebody’s presence in the house that came in his absence. His initial 10 minutes on his return to the house in the afternoon and in the evening was spent on this stupid search which was very agonising for the wife. Then, quite randomly, whenever he used to get some spare time during the court hours he used to come for the surprise check.

Moreover, he was in habit of replacing the door lock after every week or so. Even then he never used to be satisfied and regularly interrogated his wife under suspicion. He was never satisfied with the answers and used to beat her by not believing her. Now everybody will agree with me that under these circumstances, it was very difficult for a woman to live. I don’t know how this poor lady survived these four years. Hats off to her. But once she called it a day and said enough is enough.

Under firm promise from Mr Fareed that he will leave his bad habits, the compromise deed was made effective and Ms Ainy willingly moved to her husband’s house. Normally Girls of our society tries their level best to make their marriage life a success.

The lady approached the court again within three months and the court separated them, as I expected. 

Posted by Zaffar Iqbal Durrani

The Husband Who Was Too Shy To Look At His Wife

This story was recounted by Prof. Khalid Al-Jubeir, consulting cardiovascular surgeon, in one of his lectures:

Once I operated on a two and a half year old child. It was Tuesday, and on Wednesday the child was in good health. On Thursday at 11:15 am – and I’ll never forget the time because of the shock I experienced – one of the nurses informed me that the heart and breathing of the child had stopped. I hurried to the child and performed cardiac massage for 45 minutes and during that entire time the heart would not work.

Then, ALLAH decreed for the heart to resume function and we thanked HIM. I went to inform the child’s family about his condition. As you know, it is very difficult to inform the patient’s family about his condition when it’s bad. This is one of the most difficult situations a doctor is subjected to but it is necessary. So I looked for the child’s father whom I couldn't find. Then I found his mother. I told her that the child’s cardiac arrest was due to bleeding in his throat; we don’t know the cause of this bleeding and fear that his brain is dead. So how do you think she responded? Did she cry? Did she blame me? No, nothing of the sort. Instead, she said “Alhamdulillah” (All Praise is due to ALLAH) and left me.

After 10 days, the child started moving. We thanked ALLAH and were happy that his brain condition was reasonable. After 12 days, the heart stopped again because of the same bleeding. We performed another cardiac massage for 45 minutes but this time his heart didn’t respond. I told his mother that there was no hope. So she said: “Alhamdulillah. O ALLAH, if there is good in his recovery, then cure him, O my Lord.”

With the grace of ALLAH, his heart started functioning again. He suffered six similar cardiac arrests till a trachea specialist was able to stop the bleeding and the heart started working properly. Now, three and a half months had passed and the child was recovering but did not move. Then just as he started moving, he was afflicted with a very large and strange pus-filled abscess in his head, the likes of which I had never seen. I informed his mother of the serious development. She said “Alhamdulillah” and left me.

We immediately turned him over to the surgical unit that deals with the brain and nervous system and they took over his treatment. Three weeks later, the boy recovered from this abscess but was still not moving. Two weeks passed and he suffered from a strange blood poisoning and his temperature reaches 41.2°C (106°F). I again informed his mother of the serious development and she said with patience and certainty: “Alhamdulillah. O ALLAH, if there is good in his recovery, then cure him.”

After seeing his mother who was with her child at Bed #5, I went to see another child at Bed #6. I found that child’s mother crying and screaming, “Doctor! Doctor! Do something! The boy’s temperature reached 37.6°C (99.68°F)! He’s going to die! He’s going to die!” I said with surprise, “Look at the mother of that child in Bed #5. Her child’s fever is over 41°C (106°F), yet she is patient and praises ALLAH.” So she replied: “That woman isn't conscious and has no senses”.
At that point, I remembered the great Hadith of the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam): “Blessed are the strangers.” Just two words… but indeed two words that shake a nation! In 23 years of hospital service, I have never seen the likes of this patient sister.

We continued to care for him. Now, six and a half months have passed and the boy finally came out of the recovery unit – not talking, not seeing, not hearing, not moving, not smiling, and with an open chest in which you can see his beating heart. The mother changed the dressing regularly and remained patient and hopeful. Do you know what happened after that? Before I inform you, what do you think are the prospects of a child who has passed through all these dangers, agonies, and diseases? And what do you expect this patient mother to do whose child is at the brink of the grave and who is unable to do anything except supplicate and beseech ALLAH? Do you know what happened two and a half months later? The boy was completely cured by the mercy of ALLAH and as a reward for this pious mother. He now races his mother with his feet as if nothing happened and he became sound and healthy as he was before.

The story doesn't end here. This is not what moved me and brought tears to my eyes. What filled my eyes with tears is what follows:

One and a half years after the child left the hospital, one of the brothers from the Operations Unit informed me that a man, his wife and two children wanted to see me. I asked who they were and he replied that he didn't know them. So I went to see them, and I found the parents of the same child whom I operated upon. He was now five years old and like a flower in good health – as if nothing happened to him. With them also was a four-month old newborn. I welcomed them kindly and then jokingly asked the father whether the newborn was the 13th or 14th child. He looked at me with an astonishing smile as if he pitied me. He then said, “This is the second child, and the child upon whom you operated is our first born, bestowed upon us after 17 years of infertility. And after being granted that child, he was afflicted with the conditions that you've seen.”

At hearing this, I couldn't control myself and my eyes filled with tears. I then involuntarily grabbed the man by the arm, and pulling him to my room, asked him about his wife: “Who is this wife of yours who after 17 years of infertility has this much patience with all the fatal conditions that afflict her first born?! Her heart cannot be barren! It must be fertile with EEMAAN!”
Do you know what he said? Listen carefully my dear brothers and sisters.
He said, “I was married to this woman for 19 years and for all these years she has never missed the [late] night prayers except due to an authorized excuse. I have never witnessed her back-biting, gossiping, or lying. Whenever I leave home or return, she opens the door, supplicates for me, and receives me hospitably. And in everything she does, she demonstrates the utmost love, care, courtesy, and compassion.”
The man completed by saying, “Indeed, doctor, because of all the noble manners and affection with which she treats me, I'm shy to lift up my eyes and look at her. So I said to him: “And the likes of her truly deserve that from you.”

The End…

ALLAH says: And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient; Who, when calamity strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to ALLAH, and indeed to HIM we will return.” Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided. (Surah Al-Baqarah 155-157)

Umm Salamah (the wife of the Prophet) said: I heard the Messenger of ALLAH (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) saying: “There is no Muslim who is stricken by a calamity and says what ALLAH has commanded him – ‘Indeed we belong to ALLAH, and indeed to Him we will return; O ALLAH, reward me for my affliction and compensate me with that which is better’ – except that ALLAH will grant him something better in exchange.” When Abu Salamah [her former husband] passed away, I said to myself: “What Muslim is better than Abu Salamah?” I then said the words, and ALLAH gave me the Messenger of ALLAH (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) in exchange. (Sahih Muslim) 

By: Anonymous

Posted by Zaffar Iqbal Durrani